September 13, 2025

Down Memory Lane

At sixteen, I thought love meant forever. He wrote my name with his last name behind it, bought me flowers, and promised we would travel the world together. I believed him. But behind those gestures were lies, pressure, and the night he stole my first time without care. He touched me like I was a machine to use, not a person to love. That boy taught me heartbreak, but worse — he taught me to accept mistreatment disguised as devotion.

Years later, I met another man. Older, different face, different words. And yet the story unfolded the same way: promises that went nowhere, affection that came with disrespect, my voice silenced until I finally screamed through dozens of paragraphs I should never have sent. Once again, I found myself spiraling, drained by someone who never gave me the care I deserved.

Two men. Two different points in my life. But the parallels are undeniable. The boy who claimed me at sixteen and the man I clung to now were reflections of each other — both dangerous, both abusive, both leaving me broken in familiar ways.

But here is where the pattern ends. For the first time, I can see it clearly: the cycle was never about them; it was about what I accepted. And now, I refuse to take it anymore. The boy and the one who claims to be a man can remain in my past, together, where they belong.

Goodbye to both of you. Goodbye to the cycle.